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Self-love

The Self-Love Advice That Every Woman Should Read

January 3, 2017

The days that I experienced the happiest moments with the people that I love, were always the days where I decided to make myself happy – first and foremost. When I decided to quit sulking, get my act together and do the things that light me up, shortly after (i.e. sometimes a few days or weeks), incredible experiences and heart-melting memories manifested into my world. That’s the power of self-love: when you change your relationship with yourself, people change their relationship with you. They were a reflection of the way I was feeling inside. Without even having to lift a finger, positive experiences and opportunities come your way. Isn’t that exciting?

This might sound a bit woo-woo, but let’s get straight into how this works! 😉

Your exterior world is a reflection of your interior world. Everything that happens outside of you is a reflection of what’s happening inside of you. If you want to attract greater happiness and success in your exterior world, it makes sense to begin with your interior world, right?

I’m a huge self-love advocate, but it’s more than just epsom salt baths, weekly facials and candle lit dinners. If the time you spend on yourself isn’t changing the way you show up in this world, it’s time to rethink the way you embody self-love. Whilst self-love is about taking care of yourself, being your own bestie, having your own back 100%, showing up as the most authentically and beautiful version of you, any self-love ritual that you commit to should always , always, always…

RAISE YOUR VIBRATION.

How do you become overflowing with happiness and bursting with love? Raise your vibration.

Every self-love ritual should leave you feeling completely full from within.

That is the key to feeling amazing in your day to day life and to effortlessly attracting more happiness and success.   

Fill your day with things that make you truly happy. (Hint: it’s not binge-watching Youtube or eating the third slice of your gluten free chocolate brownie ‘treat’). Soul-full activities that raise your vibration in this world. Activities that make you feel good whilst doing it and after you’ve finished. Activities that uplift your mood and change the entire rhythm of your day. Activities that leave you feeling immensely grateful to Allah. Activities that deeply connect you with your body and sensuality.

Why is this so powerful?

Because it teaches you that your happiness and peace lies within your control.

Your happiness isn’t wrapped up within one person/ one career path/ one role… Your happiness is anywhere you cultivate it. As your life is today. It teaches you to stop giving your power to people/jobs/circumstances and start bringing forth the power that lies within.

In doing so you become a powerful magnet for all those things tugging at your heart. When you completely let go that’s when things are most likely to happen. Do you realise that when you’re least thinking about it,  that’s when the magic happens? When your least up in your mind, that’s when you sparkle the most in the present moment. All of those unexpected surprises, moments that swept your heart away, work progressions that you didn’t anticipate, new clients that you couldn’t foresee… trickles down to the power of self-love.   

A woman who completely trusts Allah, what level of energy and certainty is she vibrating at? When your heart is bursting with gratitude to Allah, what kind of energy are you giving off? That energy and vibration will manifest your dream life. Wouldn’t you rather manifest your dream life without the mental struggle of wanting to be somewhere else? Wouldn’t you rather gracefully accept what Allah has destined for you and in the mean time rock out whatever life holds for you today?

Now it’s over to you beautiful. What self-love rituals raise your vibration? What leaves you feeling immensely grateful to be alive? The rituals that light up your world, do them more often. Raise your vibration, change the energy that you’re giving off to the world and what you get back will be far more exciting and heart exploding happiness than you could ever imagine.

P.s If you’d like to delve deeper into creating a healthy foundation of self-love, work on raising your vibration and mastering inner mean girl thoughts, book in a free 30 minute coaching session with me here.

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Comments

  1. Swity Elena says

    May 17, 2019 at 1:33 pm

    Self love is really very necessary for any women to live happier life. I love to read your blog and sharing an interesting blog with you all. hope you all will like it.

    https://ladiesshopninfo.blogspot.com/2018/11/welcome-to-world-of-wives-transform.html

    Reply
  2. Iffat Ara Chaity says

    November 9, 2017 at 9:52 am

    This website is such a wonderful one! Jazakallahu Khairan. May Allah enrich you with more wisdom ahead. Ameen.

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      November 22, 2017 at 1:39 pm

      Ameen! BarakAllah fee 💗💗💗

      Reply
  3. Diary.Nie's Gallery says

    August 2, 2017 at 12:01 pm

    Yes, absolutely dear. We are what we do. So it’s true that ‘what we are outside’ reflects ‘what we are inside’. Keep up that positive energy and let it vibrate even more!!!

    Kepada kawan2 yg belum join giveaway COKLAT by Sii Nurul, boleh la ke link berikut:
    https://ciknurul23.blogspot.my/2017/07/chocolate-fan-giveaways-by-sii-nurul.html

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      August 4, 2017 at 11:36 am

      Thank you lovely 💗 Absolutely – whatevers going on outside of us is often a reflection of what happening within us xx

      Reply
  4. Halima says

    February 28, 2017 at 12:13 pm

    Ma sha Allah this is awesome! What raises my vibrations is simply gratitude to Allah SWT for all the countless blessings. Remembering how He has always made ways for me out of every difficulty, and guided me to learn so much. Alhamdulillah.

    Reply
  5. Bibi says

    January 16, 2017 at 10:25 am

    Slm do u have a book of coaching on this subject

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      January 17, 2017 at 10:30 pm

      Wasalaam,

      A book on coaching for self-love…. hmmmm not that I can think of. Other books on self-love that I’d highly recommend are: You can heal your life by Louise Hay and Mastering your mean girl by Melissa Ambrosini – two of my favourite books for self-love. Hope that helps x

      Reply
  6. Zainab Dokrat says

    January 9, 2017 at 12:40 pm

    Was having such a bad day and this made me happy. Thank you for sharing!! (www.beautywithzainy.com and http://www.spicyfusionkitchen.com)

    Reply
  7. Nazima says

    January 9, 2017 at 11:50 am

    This article couldn’t have come at a more perfect time! I am such an advocate of self love and the importance of it. This week I got super busy and forgot to give myself some me time. Will definitely take the time out this week inshallah!

    Reply
  8. Lubna says

    January 5, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    Going around the chores…we just forget to please our self…things which make us happy…..even it is just a small cup of tea…we tend to run fulfilling other jobs that we forget ourselves…great post…self love is much needed to every women…

    Reply
  9. Shahira says

    January 5, 2017 at 9:37 am

    Going for a walk early morning usually raises my happiness but haven’t been able to do it for a long time. Writing and some me time by reading makes me happy often.
    Love reading your posts btw😊

    Reply
  10. Amina says

    January 4, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    You are so right, our exterior world is truly a reflection of the inner world. Too many times, i notice this with my business and relationships.

    As its commonly said, you can’t give what you don’t have. So having a well nourished soul will flow out to well nourished world enveloping and welcoming you.

    Reply
  11. Bazigah Murad says

    January 4, 2017 at 4:13 pm

    self esteem is always very important for a woman, and the way you wrote about it is really boosting!
    Thanks for sharing!

    http://thatgirlglamourouslyglitter.blogspot.com/

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      January 4, 2017 at 9:19 pm

      Thank you for reading! x

      Reply
  12. Bazigah Murad says

    January 4, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Self- esteem is always so important for a woman, and the way you portrayed it is a must read indeed! Thanks for sharing!

    http://thatgirlglamourouslyglitter.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  13. Hassana Y.S Adamu says

    January 3, 2017 at 9:13 pm

    Masha Allah!!! Great Article!!! 😊 Jazakallah khair for boosting my self esteem.

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      January 4, 2017 at 9:26 am

      BarakAllah fee, I’m soo happy this has been of benefit 🙂

      Have a wonderful day inshaAllah x

      Reply
  14. Chelsea says

    January 3, 2017 at 7:06 pm

    I really love how you define self-love as filling your soul. It’s important to differentiate temporary and unhealthy pleasure from pleasure that will last and impact you and those around you. And it’s so true, when you truly learn to love yourself and be grateful and be positive your surroundings change and the world approaches you differently. Jazakallah khair for another beautiful post.

    Reply
    • Inspired & Fabulous says

      January 3, 2017 at 7:43 pm

      That differentiation is absolute key. And noticing that stop that vicious cycle of feeling regret and guilt afterwards.

      BarakAllah fee for reading, have a wonderful day inshaAllah x

      Reply
Previous What kind of Woman do you want to be?
Next 8 Morning Habits Of Successful Muslim Women
Desperation is a form of ingratitude to Allah.⁣ Desperation is a form of ingratitude to Allah.⁣
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It’s you saying with your heart and energy, that this moment isn’t enough. That you need more because what Allah has given you in this moment is not enough. That’s the energy of desperation. This external need for something out there to happen for you to feel calmer within.⁣
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Desperation (when it’s not genuine) doesn’t work. It creates a distance between you and your duas because all your focusing on is lack - that it’s still not here yet. It creates a distance between you and your heart - your mind becomes clouded with the thoughts of fear and lack. That you desperately need this thing to happen for your life to feel complete. As though what Allah has decreed for you isn’t enough. ⁣
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Step into 2 things:⁣
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𝟷. 𝘈𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 ✨⁣
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Yes you may not be where you’d imagined by now but what else can you do? Acceptance is acknowledging your feelings, letting yourself feel the disappointment, anger, hurt but submitting and surrendering to Allah. Yes it hurts but Allah does not abandon His creation.⁣
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You are not here for no purpose. This season in your life serves a spiritual/ emotional lesson, a means of healing that will support you in many times to come, even though you may not see it now.⁣
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Through acceptance, you stop desperately trying to run away from the emotional pain of your current situation.⁣
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𝟸. 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘛𝘰 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 💗⁣
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You’re safe to be here. This moment is not lacking in any way because you haven’t achieved your goals or your duas are not here yet.⁣
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Come back to your heart and step into the truth of this moment. It’s coming back to the knowing that...⁣
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“Hold on a second, this moment is beautiful too. This moment is precious too.”⁣
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You give to your heart what you need most from out there. Keep drawing your attention within. Come back to you. When your duas + dreams come to pass, it will be a beautiful moment of joy and peace but this moment is beautiful too - because Allah has decreed it for you. ⁣
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In that state of wholeness, self-love, inner reassurance, things work out much, much faster and easier when you’re not suffocating the process 💗Continued below...
This magical practice will change your life ✨⁣ This magical practice will change your life ✨⁣
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Every day spend 10 to 15 minutes or so coming back into your heart. In those minutes, close your eyes (if possible) and draw your attention within. Connecting to your heart. Listening to what's happening within. Acknowledging whatever your heart is carrying today. As you bring awareness to the state of your heart, wrap it up with acceptance and gratitude. ⁣
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Are you yearning to be appreciated? Lean into that. Accept it for what it is. ⁣
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Is your heart bursting with love? Wrap it up in immense gratitude to Allah. Feeling it but not getting swept up by it. ⁣
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Did someone hurt you and you can't get over it? Yeah honey, you're allowed to feel that way. When you allow yourself to feel without any judgement or mind chatter, it begins to weaken. ⁣
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Do you recall the story of the Sahabi who was promised jannah for purifying his heart (from negative feelings) every night? Awe-inspiring, right? 💖⁣
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Coming into your heart, staying present in this moment is a deep form of surrendering to Allah. You're nowhere else but here. You're making peace with all that is within instead of running, avoiding, numbing or distracting yourself from it. ⁣
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Here's what so incredible, when you attend to your own heart, you stop looking for external reassurance. You feel no need to shout it on Instagram because you've validated what was within. ⁣
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You feel no need for people around you to step up because you've stepped up for yourself. Other people honouring your boundaries is not nearly as important as you honouring your own heart's needs. ⁣
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Those 10 to 15 minutes to yourself is so powerful and transformative. You find within what you were searching for out there. That's how you become magnetic to all of your desires and more ✨⁣
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P.s. Have a look at my new 'Emotional Triggers" workbook to have a solid practise and guide to work through uncomfortable emotions. The wound is the place where the light enters you (Rumi)💖 It's for you to find it ✨Link in the bio💃🏻
⁣ 3 Ways To Stop Obsessing Over It ✨ ⁣ ⁣ 1 ⁣
3 Ways To Stop Obsessing Over It ✨ ⁣
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1. Keep your self-love on point 💁🏻‍♀️💅🏻You can’t call in love/ miracles/ joy/ abundance if you’re hanging out in fear town. When you’re stuck in doubt/ fear/ lack, that’s all you become available for. There’s literally no room for love and abundance to come your way because you’re unconsciously committed to staying where you are. ⁣
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2. Make yourself a priority ✨ You are your number one. Soo cheesy, right? 😆 When you drop yourself at the expense of others, you abandon yourself. In doing so, you chase and obsess over things/people to fill that void within but instead you’re left feeling drained, hopeless and depleted. Your self abandonment is being heightened, amplified and reflected back to you.⁣
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3. What brings you joy? What makes you feel whole again? 💗 Nourish your heart and soul, because when you do you stop waiting and chasing things and people to give you that. In filling yourself up, you’re able to drop the neediness and surrender. And surrendering is the key to becoming magnetic to your desires ✨For every miracle you hear, there is always a moment of deeply surrendering and handing it over to Allah 💖⁣
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P.s I have a few Soul Sessions available this week, if you’d like to book in a 60 minute coaching call + 2 weeks of voice note and email coaching, message me for more info 😘⁣
Without surrendering to Allah, you can't move forw Without surrendering to Allah, you can't move forward ✨💗⁣
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Without surrendering to Allah, you keep reacting to your current reality. You keep trying to meddle with the process. Or figure out the 'how'. But it was never your place to know how it'll happen. ⁣
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For you to up-level to the next stage of your life, stop reacting to your current one. Emotionally stop feeding into what you don't want. ⁣
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For that to happen, surrender to what Allah has decreed for you. When you accept the fear, it loses it's hold over you. There’s something in this moment for you. ⁣
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Some of the hardest moments of my life, where followed by some of the happiest moments. Because in that despair, you're able to find the strength of your own self-love. ⁣
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The moment you stop fighting your reality/ wishing it was different is the moment you can take on the lessons from it. The moment you stop fighting it is the moment you can choose something new. The moment you stop wishing it was different is the moment you can step into what you do want. Instead of fighting the old, you focus on building the new.⁣
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But it starts with surrendering to Allah. Not sweeping it under the rug. Not pretending it's not there by wishful thinking. ⁣
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It's saying "Okay, Allah this really, really hurts but I can surrender. I can accept it even if every part of me resists it."⁣
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To move forward, surrender. You can't build something new if you keep fighting with the past. You can't build something new if your stuck in the fear/ lack/ despair of your current situation. ⁣
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Always remember: ⁣
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+ There's something in this moment for you ✨Know that Allah would never put you in any situation expect that it serves you. It's here because it's soo necessary for your spiritual and emotional growth. ⁣
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+ Allah will still bring you closer to your desires through it ✨ This isn't the end. Surrendering to Allah is not giving up. It's accepting this current moment so that you can free yourself from the pain surrounding it and step into something new. You've got to surrender, to move beyond it. It's knowing that this moment is a stepping a tone, a bridge of events not your permanent destination. ⁣
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Continued below...
Delays in your duas are wonderful opportunities of Delays in your duas are wonderful opportunities of healing ✨⁣
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See, it's not just about getting what you prayed for. Allah could make that happen instantly. You wouldn't have to wait. But there's a purpose behind every delay. An opportunity of healing.⁣
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How many people have you seen receive their dreams only for it to be the reason of their self-destruction?⁣
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Every delay serves a purpose - maybe it's so that you appreciate it fully for when it comes. Maybe it's calling you to heal the heaviest parts of your soul, the pain lingering from the past and societal conditioning that are taking you away from what you want. Maybe the wait is polishing your heart from attachment and need to none other than Allah.⁣
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If you're in the middle of a delay, what is this opportunity creating space for? What does Allah want from you? What are you ready to step into? What is this space (this delay of your dua) calling you towards? ⁣
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Allah has something in this moment for you💗You are never left empty ✨⁣
What happens when you make dua but you see the com What happens when you make dua but you see the complete opposite happening?✨⁣
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This is a question that I've received many times. Do you keep making dua against all odds? When do you give up? I'm going to break it down for you as much as possible...⁣
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1) The State Of Your Heart Matters Most 💗⁣
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I can't tell you how many stories I've heard of women making dua "...please Allah don't let him get married again/ don't let him cheat on me/ if this is going to hurt me, don't give it to me..."⁣
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Guess what happens?⁣
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Yeah...the exact opposite, the very thing that you feared and desperately held onto. What you're saying with your tongue is also as important as the state of your heart in which you ask Allah.⁣
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Have you ever looked up into the sky, your heart stirred with deep emotions, misty-eyed. You didn't have to say a word but Allah heard you. Sometimes before you're even able to process those feelings into words, Allah answers your callings. That's the power of your intention and tapping into the state of your heart⁣
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You can't be saying with your tongue what your heart doesn't believe to be true. Words are easy - it's easy to say "... but I trust Allah, but I made dua". But does your heart align with that? Is your faith in Allah being carried through your thoughts, feelings and actions?⁣
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2) Release Attachment/ Neediness ✨⁣
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Attachment to the outcome is what keeps you stuck in your current circumstance. Its when you place your dua on a pedestal. Believing that once you get what you prayed for, you're no longer going to feel this pain. It's when your riddled with anxiety, resistance and fear. It's when your actions say "Allah, what you've given me today isn't enough, I need X to happen to stop feeling this pain/lack".⁣
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When you come from a place of ingratitude to Allah, it's no surprise that things aren't working out. When you place your dua on such a pedestal ( ie. a specific person/ wanting a child/ income and lifestyle goals etc.) that you forget how beautiful and equally precious the rest of your life is.⁣
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You're attached to the fear of it not happening. When so much of your heart and energy is invested in fear... keep reading below ✨
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