In my coaching calls, I always get asked “… But how? Like how do you actually be feminine? What can I do?” My response is usually a little giggle with “You can’t do feminine energy. It’s not something you ‘do’. It’s an energy that you tap into’. When you’re new to exploring your feminine energy, it’s a whole new world. A completely different way of being.
In this blog post we’ll look at 6 practical ways to nurture your femininity. 6 fun ways that allow you to tap into your feminine energy. You can’t force yourself to be feminine. It’s not something you ‘should’ be. It’s an energy that you tap into. You don’t force it. You don’t obligate it upon yourself. The moment you force yourself to be feminine, you defeat the purpose of it. Feminine energy is relaxed, flowing, free… there’s no push or force.
This is what works for me.
It may or may not work for you. Some of these tips might not be your thing and that’s okay. Hey, that’s life. C’est la vie 😉 It’s the energy that’s important not the action itself. You can look and act feminine and still be deeply rooted in your masculine energy. It’s the energy behind the action that matters most. With that being said, let’s start!
1) Play With Children
When you’re raising children, it’s very easy to fall into that masculine, dominant energy.
“If you don’t stop crying, we’re not going anywhere.”
“For the seventh hundred time just tie your shoe laces, okayyy?”
“What?… Why? Because I said so.” You get the picture 😉
When you play, you have no agenda in mind. You play for the joy of it. You’re relaxed and living in the present moment. It really does call for you to step out of that controlling, leading, masculine energy. It brings out a softer side, where for this moment life isn’t taken too seriously. Children embody feminine energy so well – when they play, they have no care or rush in the world. They really don’t care. They’re brimming with presence and creativity, how is it that children can look at the floor (the most dullest of things) and imagine it to be a sea full of sharks? Play with your children, it becomes a means of delight and light heartedness, for you both.
2) Embrace Feminine Silhouettes
As a Muslim woman, this is something I prefer to embody in the comfort of my own privacy (be it at home/ family gatherings/ women only spaces etc.).
Here are a few silhouettes that I find soo feminine:
Skater dresses (Fit and Flare)
Maxi dresses (when worn accordingly)
Off the shoulder dresses
With all of these shapes, the most important factor is the fit. Maxi dresses can be so disastrous but when worn properly i.e. it fits you, not too lose or too tight and in the right proportions (you don’t want to look like you’re wearing an abaya in your house. You get what I mean? 😉 It can be so sensual, as it subtly hints towards your curves/ body shape without showing much.
The second factor is timing/ place. Femininity is not dressing up 24/7 in heels and skater dresses. The beautiful thing about feminine dressing is that it’s an ever flowing expression of who you are. That means you can flow and easily adapt from one occasion to the next. With your dress and how you show up. Some days that might be pairing a white top with a flowy mid length skirt. Other days it might be more dressed up or dressed down. More modest or more revealing. Timing, place and comfort is crucial. (The same applies to how you show up, your feminine energy allows you to switch gears very easily, you can go from having a serious conversation as needed to being light hearted and easy going, you have multiple facets to your character).
3) Explore With Textures + Accessories:
Play around with different textures such as: lace, chiffon, mesh, silk, satin, cashmere, tweed… it’s soo soo beautiful. A play on textures can really elevate a simple look. The way it feels against your skin is wonderful too. We all know that feeling of wearing a skater lace cami dress and feeling feminine, tapping into that girly part of ourselves.
Accessories are a wonderful way to add your own personal style. Curate your collection of watches/ bracelets/ rings/ scarves/ shoes/ handbags, whatever you fancy. The best wardrobes don’t happen over night. It’s a collection curated and refined over years. Here’s what I love: things that hold meaning. This might sound a bit woo-woo (call me crazy!) but items hold energy. You can feel the intention and energy behind it. Maybe it’s your wedding ring that’s close to your heart or a gold bracelet that belonged to your grandmother. Or wearing your favourite nail polish because it’s that time of the month 😉
When you wear things that hold meaning to you, when you put the effort in to look and feel your happiest, you radiate an inner, quiet confidence that you can’t buy in a Prada store 😉 It’s the woman who wears the dress that makes it sparkle. It’s the stories behind the accessories that add a dimension that money can’t buy.
4) Wear Your Best Lingerie
The lingerie you wear is the closest thing to your body. It’s the base to your outfit. The correct, high quality, sophisticated lingerie will enhance your body shape, your confidence and the way you feel too. It’s an intimate way of feeling good within yourself. This has nothing to do with whether your single or married (or whether your husband sees you in it or not). It has everything to do with the way your carry yourself. With how good you feel even by yourself. With how you treat yourself. I’m going to keep this short: no grandma undies, definitely no 6 in a pack fruity underwear and always keep it matching 😉
5) Be On The Receiving End
By that I mean be on the recceing end of a treatment/ massage/ facial/ where you’re receiving (as opposed to doing). Allowing yourself to receive openly is deeply feminine. You’re the one watching, not the one performing. You’re the one leaned back, not the one hustling. (This energy of being open to receiving can radically change your marriage and relationships too). Allow others to do things for you without feeling the need to compensate for it. Gracefully accept compliments without feeling uneasy, questioning their motives or needing to compliment them back. Appreciate small gestures of kindness, take a moment to truly appreciate it. Allowing yourself to fully and openly receive is a wonderful way to relish in your feminine energy.
Our wombs are the centre of creation. Our bodies hold and carry the journey of a fetus coming to life. As women we have that creative energy flowing through us. We have that itch to create from our hearts, to give and make something of meaning. It can be as simple as cooking a delicious meal for the people you love or creating a piece of artwork. Creating a journal entry to creating a home. Writing this post is deeply feminine for me. I love knowing that I’m sharing from my heart to yours. What are you inspired to create?